She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is her dick bigger than yours?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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