hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You're like the curious george of whores
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
