i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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