He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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