I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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