Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
