I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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