It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
