sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
