I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
