The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
