if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
