I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
