Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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