before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
