now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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