haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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