he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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