Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
