he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
