well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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