Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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