i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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