Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
