Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
