I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
jump out the window naked night went bad
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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