You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
