Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize