Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
