Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
worst night to have a conscience
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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