don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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