OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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