Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
