whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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