I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
