I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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