so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
