kristin has been a bad kristin
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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