Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
