i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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