So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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