Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
