I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
