do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
