Need sex. Gaining weight.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
