Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
