I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
