So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
barbara walters just said penis...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
