Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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