Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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