Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
